The Baddest Baldie
I DID IT!!!!!!
(Insert Oprah Scream) I finally shaved my head! It was not easy. After months of should I or shouldn’t I? 2 canceled appointments. I finally did it! As fate would have it, the first cold night in New York, the mister and I were craving ice cream. We live in a pretty white suburban area, so when I saw this really pretty brown-skinned girl with a really dope short cut I had to talk to her. Actually I admired her until my husband insisted I say something. She was sweet and adorable and started to gush over her barber. Her black woman barber! I called her to get her schedule… then didn’t make an appointment for another 3 weeks.
Why all the back and forth?
It’s simple to understand if you’re a black girl. Our hair is so much a part of who we are. I named my first weave Keisha. I’ve cut my hair to celebrate achievements at work and dyed my hair when I wanted a new look and a new life. When depression kicked in I’ve been (partially) brought back to life by a Dominican wash and set. When I was a child, I vividly remember my father being really upset and even saying we couldn’t go places if our hair wasn’t “done.” God bless my mother she had 4 girls with thick 4c black girl hair. I can’t even imagine working full time in NYC, braving the subway, then having to find time to keep 4 rambunctious girls “presentable.”
That messaging has stuck with me my entire life.
Even though I’ve worked through (some of) it in therapy, it’s shown up in my life that if your hair is not done, you are not enough. It’s even effected my career. I was once offered the chance to be in a training video based on my success on a project and I turned it down. I said no and my only reason was I had no time to get my hair done. I flat out told my co-worker I will not be the black girl in the video seen by thousands without her hair done. This was before I knew the power of a wig, and they chose a white man after I turned them down and that representation in that space would’ve been more important, but to think I turned down a major work opportunity and resume builder because I didn’t feel like I looked presentable makes me shudder with regret. Also why was I walking around in a way that left me feeling anything but confident? Now I know how you show up in the world says how you feel about yourself.
Finally, I feel free.
I’d seen some dope cuts and I even went “Halle Berry boy cut” short last year. I’d been having trouble transitioning my permed hair to natural. But even the day of my appointment I felt myself about to cancel and chicken out, again, so I did what anyone would do. I went in the bathroom and cut off most of my hair with scissors. A little cray, yes, but I had no choice at that point to get this head shaved.
My inspiration pic?
It came out pretty close. I’m happy. I’ve named my baldie Giselle and the only unexpected side effect, besides the amazing amount of extra time I have in the morning, is the fact that my head is now always freezing. Always.
(my barber’s info is listed on instagram & I’ll be doing a follow-up post on the salon)